Sexual Dysfunction

Any of the problems listed here might put you off even trying to have sex, yet all of them can be treated.

Difficulty reaching orgasm for women, and for men problems controlling ejaculation or in reaching orgasm
For men, not always being able to get or maintain an erection even when you would like to
Pain during intercourse for both men and women
Contractions of the muscles around the vagina (vaginismus) which make intercourse impossible

Working Together To Improve Your Sex Life

Talking About Sex

Discussing your sex life may feel impossible, but you can learn ways to make this delicate subject more approachable. Get comfortable with sex as a topic by talking about it generally. Watch TV programmes, or read magazine articles on sex, then talk about them.

You need to start being more open about your feeling. Going for a walk together can be a good way to have a relaxed chat, which doesn't turn into a confrontation. It can be easier to talk about sex out of bed to start with. Later you may feel able to talk while you make love.

Be sensitive to your partner's feelings when you talk about sex. For instance, if your partner suggests trying something new, don't reject the idea out of hand. You might agree to try something you feel dubious about, on the understanding that you take it gradually and stop if you don't like it. Try to keep an open mind, and come up with new ideas between you. Lovemaking can easily become routine, and adding one or two new elements can help to bring back the excitement. Many useful DVDs are available on sex techniques, positions, use of fantasy etc, which could give you some inspiration. (Ask our sex therapist for suggestions.)

The Right Time and The Right Place

A big problem for many couples is finding a time for sex when they aren't too exhausted to enjoy it. Get your diaries out, and book a time when you are both free to make love. Or arrange a night in a hotel - a change of scenery often works wonders.

Make the surroundings warm and atmospheric. Soft music, candles, wine can all help to put you in the mood.

Ensure your privacy. Send children off to stay with friends or relatives overnight, or get someone to take them out for an afternoon.

HKSHC Sex Therapy

In HKSHC, we have certified sex therapists who will be able to help you get to the root of your sexual problems and regain an active sex life.

What happens in Sex Therapy?

Firstly you will meet with a sex therapist. The therapist will take time to explore with you what you might want to achieve or change in your sexual relationship and what the reasons behind this might be. The therapist will talk with you about the best way forward in your circumstances.

Where HKSHC can help you will have regular hourly sessions with your sex therapist during which your problem will be explored, to identify the possible causes. You may be given a programme of exercises to try at home or being taught specific techniques and discuss your progress (you will never be asked to undertake any sexual tasks during a session).

If the main problem is loss of desire, you can try the sensate focus programme. This is designed to put you back in touch with the physical and emotional sensations you get from touching each other, while removing any pressure to 'perform'.

For further information or making an appointment, please call HKSHC on (852) 3162-0001.