Stopped Having Sex Altogether

Most relationships go through phases where one or both partners have become disinterested in sex. However there is no reason to think that the passion has gone forever if you are not having sex. Once a pattern is established of having sex infrequently or not at all, it can be hard to get back to a regular and satisfying love life. Taking time to try to understand why you feel less like making love can help you get your sex life back on track.

Apart from simply getting bored with sex (sexual boredom), or getting ‘out of the habit’ of making love, many practical factors can affect your feelings such as:

Illness
Stress
Over-tiredness
Children who wake you in the night or want to sleep in your bed

You will need to tackle the root causes of your problems before you can work on improving your sex life.

Is sex the real problem or a result of other problems?

Counsellors often find that a lack of sexual desire stems from a basic dissatisfaction within a couple's relationship. Common problems include:

drifting apart and losing touch
feeling taken for granted or neglected
frequent arguments and nagging
problems such as money worries, family conflict, work-related stress and extra marital affairs
Looking after children at home

Problems like these need working through. You need to feel better about your relationship before there a chance of your sex life improving. Try talking with your partner about how to make things better. Relationship counselling can be very helpful if your problems seem too daunting to tackle alone.