Sex Therapy for Men

An active sex life is normal and important element in a relationship. However, many people encounter sexual problems at some point in their lives. These problems may caused by many factors such as stress, tiredness, physical illness, financial and work pressures, relationship problems, or even having a new baby.

Most people find that their sexual problems do not last for long, however, if the problem does last, HK Sexual Health Centre sex therapist will help you to resolve the problems and find ways to overcome the difficulties.

Sex Therapy – Who is it for?

There are many kinds of sexual problems that people may encounter due to physical and psychological reasons, such as:

Lost of sexual desire
Erectile dysfunction
Ejaculation problems
Painful intercourse

What does Sex Therapist do?

Sex therapists are trained professionals deal with sexual problems. The role of sex therapist is to firstly to identify with you firstly the problem(s) that you are facing; what you want to achieve or improve in your sexual relationship and underlying causes of your problems. The therapist will talk with you to explore various options and identify solutions to overcome the situation.

If we can help, you will have regular hourly sessions with our sex therapist, either male or female, and discuss your problem with him/her. You may attend individually or with you partner. You may be given information to resolve the issue; sometimes a program of exercise to do at home or to have special tests to further assess your problem. Most people can have their problems resolved after a few sessions.

To make an appointment to see a sex therapist, please call HK Sexual Health Centre on (852) 2338-0427.

Problem With Erection

Most men will experience some degree of erection problem at some stage during their life. Research showed that erectile problem affects 40% of men at age 40 and increases with age to 70% of men at age 70.

In most cases, the occasional loss of erection is common and should not been considered as anything more than a minor hiccup. In many cases, it is due to stress, over work, too much alcohol/cigarette, or just physically run down and/or not in the mood for sex. If the problem occurs intermittently, there is nothing to worry about and they should resolve themselves.

However, if the erection problem persists for more than three months; or if you have problem getting an erection with self-stimulation (masturbation); or not getting any morning erection, then you may have a physical problem. If so, you should visit a doctor to check if there is any underlying medical cause(s) for the erection problem, such as diabetes, high blood pressure, high cholesterol, kidney or liver problems.

On the other hand if you are experiencing the problem intermittently, only having problem with partner sex, then the problem is more likely psychological. The common psychological issues are:

Performance anxiety
Stress from work or home
Relationship problem
Worry about partner’s response
Depression
Sexual boredom
Lack of sexual interes
Fear of unplanned pregnancy or STD

Performance anxiety is probably the most common cause of erection problems. For many men, even they been through the initial erection problem, the anxiety of repeated failure creates additional pressure on them to perform. This anxiety does not only distract them from the enjoyment of sex but also affect their erection.

Self-helps Tips

Talk to your partner - make sure you have their understanding and support to help you to overcome this problem
Resolve any relationship issues outside the bed room
Modify your lifestyle. Stops smoking, reduce alcohol, eating a healthy diet and have enough exercise
Relax – make sure you are not rushing into have sex all the time, take time to relax, have fun both alone and as a couple.
Take time to enjoy the intimacy together as a couple. Try being sensual before sexual. You can enjoy a relaxing massage together without having any intercourse.

If the problem persists, you can make an appointment at HK Sexual Health Centre on (852) 2338-0427. Our therapist will work with you alone or with you and your partner, whichever is more appropriate, to help you recognize and resolve any couple or psychological issues that are causing the problem. Our therapist will also set you a series of program that can help you to gain more control and confidence of your erection.

Problems With Ejaculation

Premature Ejaculation (PE) is one of the most common sexual problem affecting younger men. It has been estimated that approximately 30-40% of men are affected by this condition. Some men are able to overcome their problem quickly as they become aware of their sensations in the penis. They may use various techniques to slow themselves down. Unfortunately, a small percentage of men seem to have physical phenomenon that causing PE that is difficult to overcome.

Types of PE

If you have PE in both masturbation and having sex with your partner, may be you are a “natural quick ejaculator”. However, if you only have the problem when having intercourse with your partner, then it’s more likely due to anxiety. Feeling anxious that you may ejaculate quickly makes you more likely to ejaculate quickly. When your body has developed a habit of ejaculating quickly, it becomes a reflex action and can take quite a lot of work to reverse the process.

If you ejaculation problem develop after some years of normal sexual activities, it may be due to a reduction in blood flow or erectile problem which made the penis less able to maintain the erection, so to bring forward the ejaculation time.

Self-helps Tips

There are a number of techniques that you can try.

The stop/start technique – which involves stimulation yourself or being stimulated near to the point of ejaculation, than allow the sensation to subside and then stimulating again.
The squeeze technique – squeeze just below the head of penis at the point of ejaculation.
Pelvic floor exercise which can later use to help controlling ejaculation.

Both techniques require a lot of practice and some time but over time you should get a greater sense of awareness and control.

The other treatment options for PE including local anesthetics, SSRI group of anti-depressant and intracavernous injection. There is a new drug Depoxetine which may help with men with PE is under the final stage of clinical trial.

If you find the self help techniques are not helpful, you can make an appointment with us on (852) 2338-0427. Our therapist will help you to establish an accurate diagnosis and tailor-made a management plan to help you alone or with you and your partner to either overcome the problem or manage it.

I don't have desire for sex

Men & Women Are Different

Research tells us that men in general think about sex more often than women. Typically, men have higher sex drives and enjoy more variety. There is a biological reason for this. The chemical responsible for the difference is testosterone and men have 20-40 times more testosterone than women. And, perhaps more importantly, in men, testosterone levels stay at fairly constant level throughout their life. For men, low level of testosterone can reduce your sex drive. Low level of testosterone may be due to aging, testicular problems, excessive alcohol consumption. It is important that you have testosterone level checked. Other causes for low level of sexual desire include stress, depression, alcohol or other drug problem, low thyroid hormone, lost confidence due to erection or ejaculation problems.

Sex Changes

In the early days of a relationship both men and women tend to have much higher sex drives. Evolutionary psychologists believe this is important for 'pair bonding' - building the connection between the two parties. But over time, sex drive falls - particularly for women. This is often confusing for both men and women. Men can feel betrayed and rejected by their partner and fear that not wanting sex as a sign of having problem in the relationship. Women too can wonder if it means that they don't love their partner as much as they used to. But in reality, these changes in desire are just a natural course of events in many couple relationship.

Differences In Desire - Making It Work

There is no 'right' number of times that you should have sex in a relationship. Whether you would like to have sex every day or once a fortnight - you are normal. If you have different desires, then compromise and negotiation are the solution. Many couples find they slip into a negative pattern where the partner with the higher libido is regularly asking for sex and being rejected. The person with the lower libido can also slip into the habit of avoiding physical contact unless they're in the mood for sex because they're frightened that it will give off the wrong signals. Open frank communication is very important so that your partner will not feel being rejected. Your partner need to know what you are thinking and what you like and what you don’t.

Even if you're not going to have sex, it's really important that you continue to be affectionate and sensual. When you commit to creating a tender, loving environment, sex is more likely to happen naturally. Some couples agree 'sex free' days so they know they can fully enjoy being close knowing it won't lead to sex.

Further Help

If differences in desire continue to cause problems in your relationship then you can make an appointment to see a sex therapist at HK Sexual Health Centre. Our therapist will work with you and your partner to help you to build a mutually satisfying sexual relationship.