Sexual Health

Sexual Dysfunction

Any of the problems listed here might put you off even trying to have sex, yet all of them can be treated.

  • Difficulty reaching orgasm for women, and for men problems controlling ejaculation or in reaching orgasm
  • For men, not always being able to get or maintain an erection even when you would like to
  • Pain during intercourse for both men and women
  • Contractions of the muscles around the vagina (vaginismus) which make intercourse impossible
Male Sexual Dysfunction Female Sexual Dysfunction

Working together to improve your sex life

Talking About Sex

Discussing your sex life may feel difficult and even impossible to you but you can learn ways to make this delicate subject more approachable. You can become more comfortable with sex as a topic by talking about it generally. Watching TV programmes and educational videos and reading books and magazine articles on sex, and then using these as a basis for discussion can be very helpful as a starting point.

You need to start being more open about your feelings with yourself and your partner. Going for a walk together can be a good way to have a relaxed chat, which doesn't turn into a confrontation. It can be easier to talk about sex somewhere other than ‘in bed” to start with. Later on in the process you may feel better able to talk in bed while you make love.

Be sensitive to your partner's feelings when you talk about sex. For instance if your partner suggests trying something new, try not to reject the idea out of hand. You might feel better trying something you feel dubious if you both agree and understanding that 1) You take it slowly and gradually and 2) You stop if you don't like it at any time. Try to keep an open mind and come up with new ideas between you. Lovemaking can easily become routine, and adding one or two new elements can help to bring back the excitement. Many useful DVDs are available on sexual techniques, positions, use of fantasy etc, which could give help you some inspiration. (Ask our sex therapist for suggestions.)

The Right Time and The Right Place

A big problem for many couples is finding a time for sex when they aren't too exhausted to enjoy it. Get your diaries out and book a time when you are both free to make love. Or arrange a night in a hotel - a change of scenery often works wonders.

Make the surroundings warm and atmospheric. Soft music, candles and wine can all help to put you in the mood. Ensure your privacy. Send your children off to stay with friends or relatives overnight, or get someone to take them out for an afternoon to allow you some time together.